


Instead

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode: s06e21 Things Fall Apart, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-15
Updated: 2009-03-15
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Things Fall Apart...or not.





	Instead

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: This is part of a series a challenges where Josh and Donna could have had their moment at any given time. The beginning dialog is the challenge that spawned their moment.  


* * *

JOSH: You're going to HELL! (the other bar patrons look over at him)  
DONNA: Josh--let's sit over here. (she walks over to a couple of lounge chairs several feet away)  
JOSH: (to the other patrons, who are still staring at him as he joins her) How you doing? (he sits) I realize the VP candidates are the designated hatchetmen, but that's ...  
DONNA: If Santos accepts, you can get your revenge.  
JOSH: Yeah, you think I might find five or five hundred ways to call Vinick old? You want sclerotic, I'll give you sclerotic.  
DONNA: Santos wouldn't do it.   
JOSH: Probably not.   
DONNA: Maybe why he shouldn't take the job.  
JOSH: Maybe why he'd be a great choice. Restore some civility.  
DONNA: You want him to accept?  
JOSH: You don't.   
DONNA: (hesitates) I have concerns.   
JOSH: He's not hit man enough.   
DONNA: He's too much voltage at the bottom of the ticket.   
JOSH: Overshadows the nominee.  
DONNA: Gets people wishing the names were reversed.  
JOSH: Gets people willing to wait until next time. (a beat; he smiles at her, realizing what she is trying to say, and she grins back) How'd you get so smart about this?   
DONNA: (still smiling) I had a good teacher.   
JOSH: (softly) Thanks.   
DONNA: I meant Will. (Josh digests this, then smirks feebly) 

“No, that’s not true.” I say softly.

“What’s not true?” he asks.

“Will didn’t teach me all that.” I reply. “You’re right, it was you.” 

“I would hope that in eight years I taught you something.” he says and turns to his drink. “I just didn’t think it got so bad you’d want to erase the entire thing from your memory.”

“I don’t, Josh.” I say and sit back down in my chair. He motions to the bartender for two more drinks. “I meant what I said the day I left. It was an honor working for you. You have so much vision and passion and I learned a lot from that. You were a big influence on me, Josh, but it wasn’t always a good influence.”

“I don’t know how to take that.” he says. I don’t blame him. 

“In the eight years that I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you back down from a political fight. Ever. Not even when it almost costs your reputation and career. You stand by your beliefs and your convictions and that’s what scares people when they go up against you. But when things crap out on you personally, you turn and retreat faster than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“What crapped out on you personally?” he seems genuinely interested and it’s my turn to smirk.

“You did, Josh.” I say with a hollow laugh then throw down half my drink. “You didn’t want me and I was past the point of no return.” 

“I didn’t want you? That’s a crock of shit, Donna, and you know it.” he snaps. “I flew to Germany because I was out of my mind because I thought you were gone and you had your IRA bagman there. Don’t you dare sit there and try to pin that on me.” 

Well, there’s nothing like some liquid courage here.

“You wanted smart, powerful, educated, political players in the party, Josh, and I wasn’t that.”

“You, Donna, are smarter than anyone I know. I wasn’t attracted to power, Donna, I was attracted to you and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.”

“I just came down here to tell you not to take it, Josh.” I say frustrated.

“Thanks! Good tip.” he replies and turns back to the bar and I turn and step away.

“Why don’t you prove me wrong, Donna?”

What?

“What are you talking about?” I sigh and step back to him.

“What if instead of running away from the personal like I accused you of, what if you don’t run away?” he asks softly. “What if you don’t run away and I don’t run away, but instead, we stay.”

“We end up with an enormous conflict of interest.” I point out and he laughs without humor into his drink.

“Of course we do.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and there are no dimples and that’s not what my Josh looks like when he smiles. “Because there’s got to be some kind of road block. There’s got to be something there preventing us from being happy.”

“Josh, I think you’re drunk.”

“It’s a guy, it’s a girl, it’s a diary, it’s a job, it’s a scandal, it’s a fucking bullet, it’s a car bomb.” he rattles off. “It’s a conflict of interest, it’s a bad quote, it’s a disappointed President. Why can’t we just say screw it, Donna? Do we not love each other enough? I guess not.” 

“Josh...” I say cautiously, but the bar’s empty now and we’re the only ones here, us and the bartender who’s heard this a thousand times, I’m sure. 

“Why can’t I just be in love with you, for once, Donna? Why can’t we just do that? How about instead of running away this time, we own up to it?” He turns in his chair and faces me.

“I don’t know how...” I start.

“Sure you do.” he says softly. “Because I may have been a big influence on you, and maybe it wasn’t all good,” and I admit here I flinch, “but nobody in my life has been a bigger influence on me than you have. You’ve changed me, Donna, and it’s all in a good way. You’re the one who’s taught me it’s okay to have compassion for someone you don’t know; you’re the one that’s taught me to step outside a situation and think of how something will actually affect people; you’re the one who’s taught me that there’s nothing I can’t learn from people if I just shut up and listen to them talk; you’re the one that’s taught me that winning is empty if I don’t have you to share it with; you’re the one that’s taught me that sometimes there’s something bigger than loyalty to a President who hasn’t been showing you any; you’re the one that’s taught me that people who are polar opposites of each other can still work productively together; you’re the one that showed me that I would go to prison to keep you from going there, but I wouldn’t go to Tahiti for my girlfriend.”

I’m crying right now, and I can’t stop it. I don’t want to stop it. After eight years, all that passion that’s inside of him is finally coming out and it’s for me. 

“And you’re the one that’s showed me that even though I’m not perfect and sometimes I can’t control my own mind, that there are people on this planet that love me anyway, and they love me for me and not what I can do for their career. So, instead of walking away tonight, Donnatella, why don’t we not?”

I think that’s pretty much all I can take and I throw myself at him, crying hysterically, but he doesn’t care because his arms come around me tightly and his lips find mine and they’re soft and wonderful. I hold on tight as he kisses me and brushes away the tears at the same time. My anger at him ebbs away, though I’ve still got a lot to say, but instead, I just want to do this for a while.

“I got an idea.” comes a voice from the side of us and we turn to look at the bartender. “How about instead of doing that down here, you go up to one of our 400 rooms and do it there?”

I look at Josh and he smiles and laughs. 

Not a bad idea.

THE END


End file.
